That’s the only way to describe the luxe “Eggs and Toast” package at the Redwood Room Bar in the Clift Hotel in San Francisco.

Forget over-easy. Think Tsar Nicoulai California Estate Osetra Caviar (from sustainable farmed sturgeon). This is no time for whole-wheat, either. Think crispy potato chips instead. And coffee has given way to premium Champagne.

Ahh, that’s the kind of eggs and toast I’m talking about. It’s all part of the Redwood Room’s 75th anniversary celebration.

Of course, this is no $1.99 grand-slam meal. It’ll set you back a cool $500 to $1,000, depending upon the Champagne you choose. And 24 hours notice is required, as all good things do come to those who wait. Call (415) 929-2372 to reserve.

For those on a more modest budget, you can still indulge. For the month of September, the Redwood Room will feature a special vintage cocktail, “Marmalade Old Fashioned.” One dollar from each $15 cocktail will be donated to the Friends of the Urban Forest, a San Francisco non-profit that works to encourage the planting of more trees in urban environments.